Coming of Age

This is what the coming of age time is like isn't it? You don't know who you are anymore and you're confused about the future and what will happen and all you do is question life, people, life, friends and family, life and society. You want everything yet reality is dawning on you and you realize you can't have everything. In fact you're so far from having everything you don't even have 10 things that you CAN have or do. Soon, you realize your options are closing in too fast and those who don't know how to quit while ahead, fall behind and never get a life. those who can't develop anxiety and OCD and 50 other disorders like anorexia and such just to keep their option open. Yet little do we know this inevitably destroys us and we learn too late that we should've done something and the other path was better. And we live our life in regret and despair until we eat ourselves up from the inside out. Our mind caves in and we overstay our welcome on earth and we disintegrate into ashes. Is this what coming of age is? When we are so conflicted between who we are and who we should be and who we want to be, and are confused about why we are even here to begin with and where we should end up, and we lose our trust on all, including ourselves? Because if so, I hate it. I hate growing up. I wish I were oblivious to everything in my life and blissful like a kid. Ok, not like brave new world or across the universe, but just wish I didn't psycho analyze myself and I didn't know what's good or bad just that I keep doing it. Better to be able to think "one foot at a time" than to know "you're tired because of the lactic acid building in your veins and muscles and your body is running out of ATP and molecules used for ATP."