Youtubers who can't handle youtube

People on youtube who actually upload videos stating THEIR opinions and THEIR creations and stuff...not like people who are bystanders filming something they think if worth sharing...but like people who go out of their way to MAKE a video informing people or showing their face or talent or something...

BE PREPARED FOR FEEDBACK! Yes you will get negative comments and others' opinions on YOUR opinion but who's bright idea was it in the first place to put it out there? If it really were brilliant and amazing, ok, you'll see raving reviews and comments and 298375987509235 likes versus 500 dislikes. But if it's 50/50, well you have good qualities, but you need to change a bit. TAKE IN THE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM! And blocking just shows you can't take the heat of youtube and you're hiding behind the youtube police. Just as a child facing a bully. You need to out smart them or show them off for what they really are, not hide behind your parentsand teachers. If you are better than the bully show them that. Don't just ignore them and block them and disable comments -- that's like hitler blocking and disabling media so that his people don't know what's realllly happening and that he's realllly bad. btw, hitler here is the youtuber, and the people are the youtube commenters :) Majority rules, and a good independent takes in the bad with the good, rather than taking the good, hiding the bad and pretending they are a super star because they have 100% good ratings because they hid all the bad ratings...

Sorry this is hard to follow, but I just have to put it out there. Someone going off about corsets and stuff blocked me and maybe I'm ticked off about it, and maybe that makes me a bit biased, yes, of course. but you can't say I'm completely wrong in what I said. And so sorry for all the grammar and stuff that's wrong here. I dislike how blogger isn't like Word, and I'm realllly too lazy to type it into Word and copy paste it over here. Plus I think the format's different or something. IDK, I tried it before and I remember LOTS of editing so...

Just saying.

Smell

"Smells reach the olfactory sensory neurons by way of two pathways. The first pathway is through your nostrils. The second pathway is through a channel that connects the roof of the throat region to the nose. When we chew our food, aromas are released that access the olfactory sensory neurons through this channel" -http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/smelltaste/pages/smell.aspx

THIS is why I keep thinking of smells by how it tastes and why everyone keeps saying if you can't smell you can't taste. I can taste though and I was wondering how I couldn't smell. I can taste perfectly fine except candies and some sweetened drinks where I can't distinguish between berry flavor and watermelon or something like that. II just know grape sticks a bitto your tongue and lemon is sour. I can't recognize smells, though I think I can detect them. If it's smelly in like a locker room or someone farts, it's more huimd or the air is thicker and I "feel" the smell,...or maybe I'm just feeling it and not smelling it. other warm airs may smell nice and I don't know. mint or something I think of as....refreshing. i dunno, but it's cooler. the air is thinner and fresher. It's not cold like when it's freezing outside and you have a clear nose and you breath in and your nose stings or there's a little pressure near the bridge of your nose. So I think that's mint. Ummm, not sure about anything else...

I first noticed when I was... 5? 6? IDK, I got a pink doll in a decorative bag who's supposed to smell like strawberry. I couldn't tell the difference, and I guess by psychology I assumed it smelled sweeter but if I didn't know I probably wouldn't know it had a smell. Then after that, I noticed some kid farted in a room at camp and everyone said it was funky and left I went in and didn't notice anything wrong. Over the years, people ask me "Does this smell good?" or "You smell that?" or "what's that smell?" or "That stinks" and I wouldn't really know yes or no if it's true or if someone's pulling my string. No one knows I can't smell and that's fine. But I just won't know if milk is bad or some yogurt is rank or if there's a gas leak. It's fine. I can live with people all my life and If they smell something, they'll mention it. I'm not odor-blind -- I know how I should act if something smells a certain way and I know what to do if there's a gasey smell in the room.

I can sense vinegar, or smell it...idk. but i get that sort of sensation in my nose like it's clearing up but it's not clearing and i don't know how to describe it. My mom was boiling vinegar or maybe it was salt or something...idk, but i could tell it wasn't just water vapor coming from the pot. I could tell something was in there and since I heard my mom earlier, I knew it was vinegar. so idk.

smell's supposed to be linked to taste, but i think i can taste pretty much everything. or maybe I just go by texture of foods and a few taste buds. I know what sweet and sour and salty and stuff is, and I KNOW i don't like spicy.

hmmmmm wanna come out but don't know how. awkward just saying it, you know? but i've always just played along so no one knows I can't smell. It's not a big deal so i don't want to make a big deal out of it, but i just don't want people asking me to smell stuff for them or smell test stuff before they buy something....

from a recipe for brownies... delicious, huh?

yep, this definitely makes me want to buy "fresh" strawberries

Finals

Finals are OVER! thank god. Ughh, but it hasn't been easy.

1st - my brother's been rude, immature, insensitive and a total ass this past week, putting it out that every second that I'm stupid and all. I know it's not true, but I can't deny it. I can't just let it go but I can't civilly argue it. I'm about to write him off along with Qi. Compared to stats, I'm smart, compared to friends, I'm average. Compared  to wilson and reservourians, I'm ehh. Compared to people on TV that show the average, I have no life and I'm super smart and nerdy. But compared to family, I'm social and don't study enough.

But in finals world, let me tell you - staying up all crazy hours studying chem and them writing up wmstudies final essay and the last week of fall term I stayed up and went over my suicide paper 500 times and revised 50 times and went out of my way to get help that didn't really help and printed copies that were only drafts and wasted papers I didn't need to. After that last day, I reviewed calc final stuff, crammed the day of with classmates, stressed that I didn't know anything on the actual test then hated myself for not studying harder or going out for more help. Then I went to the library to study chem, filling in all the answers to quizzes and tests and the review and making more notes for my study guide. I hoped the McKeldin would follow up on their word to give out free stuff throughout finals week to relieve stress or something but that didn't happen. Then I went over to chem review on saturday, but that didn't work and I sort of learned, but not too much. I still hated asking questions and in a big lecture hall? yea right. I went to mckeldin and stayed hoping for free stuff but NOPE! so I left after 3 hours and went home. Then I studied all weekend and monday (yesterday) going over tests, my guides and trying to run but too stressed to. Then today I ran out of stuff to study and I had until 4pm til the test, so I needed to get there hopefully at 3.30pm, so I figured I'd drive at 2.30pm. So I slept at 11pm on monday, until 9am today, but it took an hour before I fell asleep and I know that because I was still awake and couldn't sleep at 12am when I checked my ipod to write notes to myself. I finally slept and today I ran while studying for 20 minutes before leaving and got there 1 hour early! I saw Mick <3, but I never talk to him and today I didn't feel like, so I just smiled. I played and watched videos and got bored and anxious and finally, it was 3:30 and I went in. Then I didn't learn any last things from classmates and people, so i went into the test full on.
\
UGHHHHH! I didn't check other class's grades because I didn't want to jinx my mentality about how well or bad I've done right? I didn't want to rub the turtle's nose for luck or "worship" him because EVERY good luck thing I'd ever done before NEVER worked and I just ignore it. I pray to the heavens that the luck-people don't get offended that I don't believe in them or that I believe they're bad luck. However I also don't anti-luck myself by following bad luck stuff because that's just stupid. So I just listlessly wandered about lost in my own world, not sure what to do with myself.

The chem final was NOT what he prepared us for in 2 hours. There were problems that needed 10 different steps, problems that involved 5 different concepts and others that just needed time to sort out and wasn't hard but waere tedious. The guys next to me just stressed like it was anyother test and I didn't get help, but they found it about as hard as I did, so hhopefully it's a big curve. Halfway through the exam, I got a burning headache, my hands were cold and sweaty and I think I was starting a fever or something. As of now, I still have a headache and it's cold, even with a thick rain coat and the heat from the AC at home.

I finished 2 bags of chips 1 box of cheezits, and finished all three seasons of H2O while studying. I hope it paid off. I hope I don't need to do this for future studying or I'm about to get fat in the next four years.

Now I'm bored out of my mind and have no idea what to do for the next month. I don't have class until January 2, and I have class until the end of the year.
Now, I have no idea what I'm going to do, I need to be at school at 12:30 to see my chem exam, and I want to write a blog, pass college,sing, dance, learn sign language and 50 other things I WANT to but can't do. I have OCD about finishing everything at once but I JUST CAN'T MULTITASK!! I've gotten better, that's good right?

I'm starting to watch Body of proof and it's AMAZING!! love the CDC and police! I love Grimm police too, but that's because they're human and not very official with their work. Body of proof is more paper work and facts rather than emotionally being involved.

my day

Don't you hate people who use the shoulder to cut infront of traffic? Smart ass thought she'd get infront of me, but BITCH please, I got this in the BAGG!

I kept going without letting him come in. I'd understand if it were oh, I don't know, a merge lane where you're supposed to be, but a shoulder? I know you didn't have some emergency pull off. I saw you come out the lane, drive a few paces, then stop and try to cut in. But you can't cut in if I keep driving - you'll ruin my car, and it's be your fault because I'll make it a your word against mine thing.



Well, aside from that, I just had the BEST night! Completely immersed in the deaf community at Galludet! Fun using new language and watching the ASL show and shopping with ASL people!! And everyone's so nice there! :)

McDonalds

today I wanted to go by McDonalds before school to get some food (duh!) and here's what happened.

Yes, I got my food - after I embarrassed myself and others...

The guy washing windows was washing the drive thru window. My window was open, and he's close enough for me to casually talk, but (here's the awkward part and embarassing part) He kept at his thing without looking back at me. I kinda wish I said something, but I have nothing to say. I'm barely talkative at school, why would I be talkative with strangers? So he continued for a couple of minutes, until the manager came outside and told him "Wait til they finish serving before you wash these windows." Manager didn't say hi to me either and I don't mind it, but it was just awkward. The guy walked away without looking over, The manager went bck inside, seeing how he did what he came out to do, and that that.

Then the guy getting my food came to get my money for the order. It was $3.18. I figured ok, so it wasn't the 5 dollars I'd though it was so I put two dollars back and kept the three with me. Then I was like, "hmm i have enough pennies to cover the 8 cents of the 18 and then I'll just take back whatever exact change he gives." logical right? Yea, if you're doing all this thinking in a minute and waiting awkwardly thinking about the window washer just being there.

So I paid and the guy was like, hey, this is only 8 cents, you need 18 cents. Now, at this point I still didn't realize I needed $4 with the 8 cents to get change back. I kinda just went with it. So i said ok, yea, I know, I only have the 8 cents." He just went back inside and gathered stuff. It was then I realized oh shit, I need to give him another dollar! So when he opened back up to give me my food, I asked if he needed another dollar for exact change.  He gave me a weird look and said "No, I..I can open the drawer and count." Then closed the window on me. I waited for a bit since usually they come out the window twice or something. IDK, it was early and I wasn't thinking.

The manager came out and asked "What are you waiting on? Food?" and without waiting for an answer he asked the worker and he said "I gave it to her." I realized I had the bag in my car, and he probably just took off the 10 cents and the receipt was in the bag, so I said, "Sorry, I do have the food, thank you! Bye." and started off.

But not before hearing the manager tell the guy, "You need to let them know you're done! Say thank you or..."


Well, I felt bad, and I embarrassed myself twice and got the kid working there in trouble. But I guess that's actually part of the job. I guess it's out of habit you don't leave until you get some sort of "good bye" or "have a nice day." Makes you think huh?

I didn't get my receipt in the end. I only got food, but whatever.

Proposterous! They're Unreliable!

So today I planned to go to the writing center to get help professionalizing and fancy-ing up my english101 paper, right? That was to be at 1pm. Then I would go to tutoring for chem at 3pm until I finished. But the day before, My mom said she wanted me to watch this new house we bought so that I could welcome in the plumber at 9am. Ok, so I stressed for an hour the night before planning what to do what to bring and how to do everything. I ake at 7:30am to leave at 8am to get at the house at 8:45am to be ready for the guy at 9am, and be done with by 10 am ish. Then I'd go to school around 12pm so I can edit up my paper or review it, do some other homework for the day, then go to english help at 1pm and that was to be over at 1:30pm so that I could go walk over to the chem tutor center and wait for them until 3pm when I'd FINALLY start learning the last 3 chapters of chem.

None of that happened. I my alarm rang at 7:30am, but I was used to waking up after snoozing a bit. But I turned off my alarm instead of snoozing so I slept until 8am. Then I woke and rushed around, gathered my things and left at 8:15am. I got to the house at 8:50, and waited....and wait....sang a bit and waited....then finally I called my mom to ask what's up and she said she called the guys and they were finishing another job before coming over, then they'd be here in a few minutes. This was at 9:15. At 10:10am, I called and said I quit, I'd rather go to school. At least there people are prompt.

Oh, that plumber was GLAD he did not meet me that day. I went back and forth in and out of my car waiting for him, taking in food, calculator, this and that and pencils as I needed them. I didn't want to bring my backpack in, but I might as well have and I realized this was just stupid. SO I left. I packed up at 10am and called my mom and told her I'm leaving and THEN - then I realized I left my clicker at home!! For those of you not in college or have never used a clicker, it's this thing they use in math/sciencey classes to count your answers to powerpoint questions. It's half participation grade, half classwork grade. So I nearly failed chem for the day because today we were reviewing for a final and he was going to post 2986 clicker questions and I already have a low grade in thata class -- any little points he can spare me is good enough for me. So I had to go home (waste my gas) got back the way I came (waste more gas) and finally arrive at school. I wasn't late, thank god. I got there at 12, did homework stuff until my appointment and then WHOO! Do I have a sstory for YOU!

So in my paper, I'm researching suicide, why it's right, why it's wrong, and what to do to make it a win win situation instead of now where it's a lose lose situation. My tutor....god, my tutor was soooo concerned with me and what I was writing about suicide. He kept saying "your writing's good, you know what you're doing" but do I? I have a C in that class and a C in every other paper, so OBVIOUSLY I don't know what I'm doing. This is why I need help. My professor Ms Elliot doesn't come to school except for the two hours of class she has on two days of the week, and she never offers to help with editing papers. She helps us AFTER she grades the paper and tells us how to fix the next paper, but by then, it's not even the same topic!! So I was depending on my tutor. However, he said, in his words, "I'm not in a position to judge, since I'm only your tutor, but if a friend of mmine were writing this, I'd be concerned and try and help. I'd worry about the author of the paper, though I'm not saying you're the one that needs help. But here's the number for the campus hotline if you need it"  and he wrote it on my paper for me. He never changed anything on my paper and sent me away. I'd gone to the writing center before and my last two tutors actually worked on my english and my writing.

Well that was a total waste of my time, and now I was storming over to chem tutoring, thinking, "Well, atleast this will be better." New tutor, fresh start, new hope, all that stuff right? Actually, this was going to be my only hope for chem. The others suck, I hate talking to professors since they know I'm doing bad in class, they'll be thinking I don't know anything and try to baby me through each problem.

Ok, so I go and wait. I text my 3:30 professor telling her I'll be late because the chem tutor starts at 3pm. So much for that, the stinkin' little tutor... I waited until 3:15 and he wasn't here, so I went ahead to class and she responded saying, it's fine, be late, when I was already outside class. -___- 

Thne I went to chem class and our last lecture left me somewhat confused, somewhat confident. It looked easy enough. I mean, it was logical, nothing was out of the blue, so I figured ok, I got this. Then the clickers came on and he started reviewing the quiz we got back and.. and.. and all hell broke loose!

I don't know, I'm supposed to be doing chem for the next 3 years, then another 4 years or something in Pharmacy school...Can I do it?

What a day!

Ha! just stayed up from 9a.m. to now it's 4a.m. so what did I do with allllll that time?

1. washed my hair and went to school
                -  (took 30 minutes to drive there, 30 min to drive back, and a 1hr class.)
2. went to clothing swap and got a jacket and PJ pants
3. came home and finished a bs homework assignment.
4. started calc in an attempt to procrastinate on my eng101 paper
5. watched sleigh ride by Karmin.
6. listened to my ipod.
7. charged my ipod
8. went out to BK for dinner even though last night I just went out to wendy's for dinner.
9. Paid for a meal with 3 dollars in coins because I'm trying to get rid of my coins.
10. came home to watch New girl.
11. tried calc and found out webassign was stupid.
12. mom came home and we went to 5 below.
13. I bought 3 nail polishes from 5 below and wasted some time at home.
14. quit calc homework and went to scheduling my spring semester.
15. got frustrated with how full classes are before I can even sign up for classes on Dec. 16.
16. stopped working on that and went to working on english paper.
17. took another break and looked at some pretty dresses and shoes.
18. went back to homework. and listening to movies
                      -  (supernatural, suburgatory, modernfamily, upallnight)
19. and somehow, here I amd at 4 am.
20. Thank you.