Youtubers who can't handle youtube

People on youtube who actually upload videos stating THEIR opinions and THEIR creations and stuff...not like people who are bystanders filming something they think if worth sharing...but like people who go out of their way to MAKE a video informing people or showing their face or talent or something...

BE PREPARED FOR FEEDBACK! Yes you will get negative comments and others' opinions on YOUR opinion but who's bright idea was it in the first place to put it out there? If it really were brilliant and amazing, ok, you'll see raving reviews and comments and 298375987509235 likes versus 500 dislikes. But if it's 50/50, well you have good qualities, but you need to change a bit. TAKE IN THE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM! And blocking just shows you can't take the heat of youtube and you're hiding behind the youtube police. Just as a child facing a bully. You need to out smart them or show them off for what they really are, not hide behind your parentsand teachers. If you are better than the bully show them that. Don't just ignore them and block them and disable comments -- that's like hitler blocking and disabling media so that his people don't know what's realllly happening and that he's realllly bad. btw, hitler here is the youtuber, and the people are the youtube commenters :) Majority rules, and a good independent takes in the bad with the good, rather than taking the good, hiding the bad and pretending they are a super star because they have 100% good ratings because they hid all the bad ratings...

Sorry this is hard to follow, but I just have to put it out there. Someone going off about corsets and stuff blocked me and maybe I'm ticked off about it, and maybe that makes me a bit biased, yes, of course. but you can't say I'm completely wrong in what I said. And so sorry for all the grammar and stuff that's wrong here. I dislike how blogger isn't like Word, and I'm realllly too lazy to type it into Word and copy paste it over here. Plus I think the format's different or something. IDK, I tried it before and I remember LOTS of editing so...

Just saying.

Smell

"Smells reach the olfactory sensory neurons by way of two pathways. The first pathway is through your nostrils. The second pathway is through a channel that connects the roof of the throat region to the nose. When we chew our food, aromas are released that access the olfactory sensory neurons through this channel" -http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/smelltaste/pages/smell.aspx

THIS is why I keep thinking of smells by how it tastes and why everyone keeps saying if you can't smell you can't taste. I can taste though and I was wondering how I couldn't smell. I can taste perfectly fine except candies and some sweetened drinks where I can't distinguish between berry flavor and watermelon or something like that. II just know grape sticks a bitto your tongue and lemon is sour. I can't recognize smells, though I think I can detect them. If it's smelly in like a locker room or someone farts, it's more huimd or the air is thicker and I "feel" the smell,...or maybe I'm just feeling it and not smelling it. other warm airs may smell nice and I don't know. mint or something I think of as....refreshing. i dunno, but it's cooler. the air is thinner and fresher. It's not cold like when it's freezing outside and you have a clear nose and you breath in and your nose stings or there's a little pressure near the bridge of your nose. So I think that's mint. Ummm, not sure about anything else...

I first noticed when I was... 5? 6? IDK, I got a pink doll in a decorative bag who's supposed to smell like strawberry. I couldn't tell the difference, and I guess by psychology I assumed it smelled sweeter but if I didn't know I probably wouldn't know it had a smell. Then after that, I noticed some kid farted in a room at camp and everyone said it was funky and left I went in and didn't notice anything wrong. Over the years, people ask me "Does this smell good?" or "You smell that?" or "what's that smell?" or "That stinks" and I wouldn't really know yes or no if it's true or if someone's pulling my string. No one knows I can't smell and that's fine. But I just won't know if milk is bad or some yogurt is rank or if there's a gas leak. It's fine. I can live with people all my life and If they smell something, they'll mention it. I'm not odor-blind -- I know how I should act if something smells a certain way and I know what to do if there's a gasey smell in the room.

I can sense vinegar, or smell it...idk. but i get that sort of sensation in my nose like it's clearing up but it's not clearing and i don't know how to describe it. My mom was boiling vinegar or maybe it was salt or something...idk, but i could tell it wasn't just water vapor coming from the pot. I could tell something was in there and since I heard my mom earlier, I knew it was vinegar. so idk.

smell's supposed to be linked to taste, but i think i can taste pretty much everything. or maybe I just go by texture of foods and a few taste buds. I know what sweet and sour and salty and stuff is, and I KNOW i don't like spicy.

hmmmmm wanna come out but don't know how. awkward just saying it, you know? but i've always just played along so no one knows I can't smell. It's not a big deal so i don't want to make a big deal out of it, but i just don't want people asking me to smell stuff for them or smell test stuff before they buy something....

from a recipe for brownies... delicious, huh?

yep, this definitely makes me want to buy "fresh" strawberries

Finals

Finals are OVER! thank god. Ughh, but it hasn't been easy.

1st - my brother's been rude, immature, insensitive and a total ass this past week, putting it out that every second that I'm stupid and all. I know it's not true, but I can't deny it. I can't just let it go but I can't civilly argue it. I'm about to write him off along with Qi. Compared to stats, I'm smart, compared to friends, I'm average. Compared  to wilson and reservourians, I'm ehh. Compared to people on TV that show the average, I have no life and I'm super smart and nerdy. But compared to family, I'm social and don't study enough.

But in finals world, let me tell you - staying up all crazy hours studying chem and them writing up wmstudies final essay and the last week of fall term I stayed up and went over my suicide paper 500 times and revised 50 times and went out of my way to get help that didn't really help and printed copies that were only drafts and wasted papers I didn't need to. After that last day, I reviewed calc final stuff, crammed the day of with classmates, stressed that I didn't know anything on the actual test then hated myself for not studying harder or going out for more help. Then I went to the library to study chem, filling in all the answers to quizzes and tests and the review and making more notes for my study guide. I hoped the McKeldin would follow up on their word to give out free stuff throughout finals week to relieve stress or something but that didn't happen. Then I went over to chem review on saturday, but that didn't work and I sort of learned, but not too much. I still hated asking questions and in a big lecture hall? yea right. I went to mckeldin and stayed hoping for free stuff but NOPE! so I left after 3 hours and went home. Then I studied all weekend and monday (yesterday) going over tests, my guides and trying to run but too stressed to. Then today I ran out of stuff to study and I had until 4pm til the test, so I needed to get there hopefully at 3.30pm, so I figured I'd drive at 2.30pm. So I slept at 11pm on monday, until 9am today, but it took an hour before I fell asleep and I know that because I was still awake and couldn't sleep at 12am when I checked my ipod to write notes to myself. I finally slept and today I ran while studying for 20 minutes before leaving and got there 1 hour early! I saw Mick <3, but I never talk to him and today I didn't feel like, so I just smiled. I played and watched videos and got bored and anxious and finally, it was 3:30 and I went in. Then I didn't learn any last things from classmates and people, so i went into the test full on.
\
UGHHHHH! I didn't check other class's grades because I didn't want to jinx my mentality about how well or bad I've done right? I didn't want to rub the turtle's nose for luck or "worship" him because EVERY good luck thing I'd ever done before NEVER worked and I just ignore it. I pray to the heavens that the luck-people don't get offended that I don't believe in them or that I believe they're bad luck. However I also don't anti-luck myself by following bad luck stuff because that's just stupid. So I just listlessly wandered about lost in my own world, not sure what to do with myself.

The chem final was NOT what he prepared us for in 2 hours. There were problems that needed 10 different steps, problems that involved 5 different concepts and others that just needed time to sort out and wasn't hard but waere tedious. The guys next to me just stressed like it was anyother test and I didn't get help, but they found it about as hard as I did, so hhopefully it's a big curve. Halfway through the exam, I got a burning headache, my hands were cold and sweaty and I think I was starting a fever or something. As of now, I still have a headache and it's cold, even with a thick rain coat and the heat from the AC at home.

I finished 2 bags of chips 1 box of cheezits, and finished all three seasons of H2O while studying. I hope it paid off. I hope I don't need to do this for future studying or I'm about to get fat in the next four years.

Now I'm bored out of my mind and have no idea what to do for the next month. I don't have class until January 2, and I have class until the end of the year.
Now, I have no idea what I'm going to do, I need to be at school at 12:30 to see my chem exam, and I want to write a blog, pass college,sing, dance, learn sign language and 50 other things I WANT to but can't do. I have OCD about finishing everything at once but I JUST CAN'T MULTITASK!! I've gotten better, that's good right?

I'm starting to watch Body of proof and it's AMAZING!! love the CDC and police! I love Grimm police too, but that's because they're human and not very official with their work. Body of proof is more paper work and facts rather than emotionally being involved.

my day

Don't you hate people who use the shoulder to cut infront of traffic? Smart ass thought she'd get infront of me, but BITCH please, I got this in the BAGG!

I kept going without letting him come in. I'd understand if it were oh, I don't know, a merge lane where you're supposed to be, but a shoulder? I know you didn't have some emergency pull off. I saw you come out the lane, drive a few paces, then stop and try to cut in. But you can't cut in if I keep driving - you'll ruin my car, and it's be your fault because I'll make it a your word against mine thing.



Well, aside from that, I just had the BEST night! Completely immersed in the deaf community at Galludet! Fun using new language and watching the ASL show and shopping with ASL people!! And everyone's so nice there! :)

McDonalds

today I wanted to go by McDonalds before school to get some food (duh!) and here's what happened.

Yes, I got my food - after I embarrassed myself and others...

The guy washing windows was washing the drive thru window. My window was open, and he's close enough for me to casually talk, but (here's the awkward part and embarassing part) He kept at his thing without looking back at me. I kinda wish I said something, but I have nothing to say. I'm barely talkative at school, why would I be talkative with strangers? So he continued for a couple of minutes, until the manager came outside and told him "Wait til they finish serving before you wash these windows." Manager didn't say hi to me either and I don't mind it, but it was just awkward. The guy walked away without looking over, The manager went bck inside, seeing how he did what he came out to do, and that that.

Then the guy getting my food came to get my money for the order. It was $3.18. I figured ok, so it wasn't the 5 dollars I'd though it was so I put two dollars back and kept the three with me. Then I was like, "hmm i have enough pennies to cover the 8 cents of the 18 and then I'll just take back whatever exact change he gives." logical right? Yea, if you're doing all this thinking in a minute and waiting awkwardly thinking about the window washer just being there.

So I paid and the guy was like, hey, this is only 8 cents, you need 18 cents. Now, at this point I still didn't realize I needed $4 with the 8 cents to get change back. I kinda just went with it. So i said ok, yea, I know, I only have the 8 cents." He just went back inside and gathered stuff. It was then I realized oh shit, I need to give him another dollar! So when he opened back up to give me my food, I asked if he needed another dollar for exact change.  He gave me a weird look and said "No, I..I can open the drawer and count." Then closed the window on me. I waited for a bit since usually they come out the window twice or something. IDK, it was early and I wasn't thinking.

The manager came out and asked "What are you waiting on? Food?" and without waiting for an answer he asked the worker and he said "I gave it to her." I realized I had the bag in my car, and he probably just took off the 10 cents and the receipt was in the bag, so I said, "Sorry, I do have the food, thank you! Bye." and started off.

But not before hearing the manager tell the guy, "You need to let them know you're done! Say thank you or..."


Well, I felt bad, and I embarrassed myself twice and got the kid working there in trouble. But I guess that's actually part of the job. I guess it's out of habit you don't leave until you get some sort of "good bye" or "have a nice day." Makes you think huh?

I didn't get my receipt in the end. I only got food, but whatever.

Proposterous! They're Unreliable!

So today I planned to go to the writing center to get help professionalizing and fancy-ing up my english101 paper, right? That was to be at 1pm. Then I would go to tutoring for chem at 3pm until I finished. But the day before, My mom said she wanted me to watch this new house we bought so that I could welcome in the plumber at 9am. Ok, so I stressed for an hour the night before planning what to do what to bring and how to do everything. I ake at 7:30am to leave at 8am to get at the house at 8:45am to be ready for the guy at 9am, and be done with by 10 am ish. Then I'd go to school around 12pm so I can edit up my paper or review it, do some other homework for the day, then go to english help at 1pm and that was to be over at 1:30pm so that I could go walk over to the chem tutor center and wait for them until 3pm when I'd FINALLY start learning the last 3 chapters of chem.

None of that happened. I my alarm rang at 7:30am, but I was used to waking up after snoozing a bit. But I turned off my alarm instead of snoozing so I slept until 8am. Then I woke and rushed around, gathered my things and left at 8:15am. I got to the house at 8:50, and waited....and wait....sang a bit and waited....then finally I called my mom to ask what's up and she said she called the guys and they were finishing another job before coming over, then they'd be here in a few minutes. This was at 9:15. At 10:10am, I called and said I quit, I'd rather go to school. At least there people are prompt.

Oh, that plumber was GLAD he did not meet me that day. I went back and forth in and out of my car waiting for him, taking in food, calculator, this and that and pencils as I needed them. I didn't want to bring my backpack in, but I might as well have and I realized this was just stupid. SO I left. I packed up at 10am and called my mom and told her I'm leaving and THEN - then I realized I left my clicker at home!! For those of you not in college or have never used a clicker, it's this thing they use in math/sciencey classes to count your answers to powerpoint questions. It's half participation grade, half classwork grade. So I nearly failed chem for the day because today we were reviewing for a final and he was going to post 2986 clicker questions and I already have a low grade in thata class -- any little points he can spare me is good enough for me. So I had to go home (waste my gas) got back the way I came (waste more gas) and finally arrive at school. I wasn't late, thank god. I got there at 12, did homework stuff until my appointment and then WHOO! Do I have a sstory for YOU!

So in my paper, I'm researching suicide, why it's right, why it's wrong, and what to do to make it a win win situation instead of now where it's a lose lose situation. My tutor....god, my tutor was soooo concerned with me and what I was writing about suicide. He kept saying "your writing's good, you know what you're doing" but do I? I have a C in that class and a C in every other paper, so OBVIOUSLY I don't know what I'm doing. This is why I need help. My professor Ms Elliot doesn't come to school except for the two hours of class she has on two days of the week, and she never offers to help with editing papers. She helps us AFTER she grades the paper and tells us how to fix the next paper, but by then, it's not even the same topic!! So I was depending on my tutor. However, he said, in his words, "I'm not in a position to judge, since I'm only your tutor, but if a friend of mmine were writing this, I'd be concerned and try and help. I'd worry about the author of the paper, though I'm not saying you're the one that needs help. But here's the number for the campus hotline if you need it"  and he wrote it on my paper for me. He never changed anything on my paper and sent me away. I'd gone to the writing center before and my last two tutors actually worked on my english and my writing.

Well that was a total waste of my time, and now I was storming over to chem tutoring, thinking, "Well, atleast this will be better." New tutor, fresh start, new hope, all that stuff right? Actually, this was going to be my only hope for chem. The others suck, I hate talking to professors since they know I'm doing bad in class, they'll be thinking I don't know anything and try to baby me through each problem.

Ok, so I go and wait. I text my 3:30 professor telling her I'll be late because the chem tutor starts at 3pm. So much for that, the stinkin' little tutor... I waited until 3:15 and he wasn't here, so I went ahead to class and she responded saying, it's fine, be late, when I was already outside class. -___- 

Thne I went to chem class and our last lecture left me somewhat confused, somewhat confident. It looked easy enough. I mean, it was logical, nothing was out of the blue, so I figured ok, I got this. Then the clickers came on and he started reviewing the quiz we got back and.. and.. and all hell broke loose!

I don't know, I'm supposed to be doing chem for the next 3 years, then another 4 years or something in Pharmacy school...Can I do it?

What a day!

Ha! just stayed up from 9a.m. to now it's 4a.m. so what did I do with allllll that time?

1. washed my hair and went to school
                -  (took 30 minutes to drive there, 30 min to drive back, and a 1hr class.)
2. went to clothing swap and got a jacket and PJ pants
3. came home and finished a bs homework assignment.
4. started calc in an attempt to procrastinate on my eng101 paper
5. watched sleigh ride by Karmin.
6. listened to my ipod.
7. charged my ipod
8. went out to BK for dinner even though last night I just went out to wendy's for dinner.
9. Paid for a meal with 3 dollars in coins because I'm trying to get rid of my coins.
10. came home to watch New girl.
11. tried calc and found out webassign was stupid.
12. mom came home and we went to 5 below.
13. I bought 3 nail polishes from 5 below and wasted some time at home.
14. quit calc homework and went to scheduling my spring semester.
15. got frustrated with how full classes are before I can even sign up for classes on Dec. 16.
16. stopped working on that and went to working on english paper.
17. took another break and looked at some pretty dresses and shoes.
18. went back to homework. and listening to movies
                      -  (supernatural, suburgatory, modernfamily, upallnight)
19. and somehow, here I amd at 4 am.
20. Thank you.

So I haven't been on in awhile, but Here's a general update:

-last weekend, I stabbed myself with a fortune cookie... don't ask.

-I forgot my charger in the library for a whole 2 hours.

-I realized nail polish takes a LOOOOONG time to dry.

Hmm, not much else is happening with me. Except I'm pregnant, broke, and dying. Believe it? Naw, me neither.

Ooh, so today, a club on campus hosted this "Swap" drive. Basically, you donate some books or clothes, and you get to see what's there that you like. I traded in a vesthoodie(i think that's what it is) and a jacket that no longer fit. Guess what I picked out for myself? PJ PANTS! Hahhaa not only those, silly, those these are the super pants, which are fleece and has a draw string and that stores sell in boat loads! They were blue plaid with silver lining the drawstrings and they were LONG!! YAYYYY! But two items for this wasn't worth it, so I kept looking. Now, don't get me wrong, there were pretty things there, but alot were either "old" as in "i used to have this when I was 10" not as in "I bought it in high school, but it isn't my style or it doesn't fit anymore."  If they were my size and shape, Girl, bet you I woulda snatched up all those clothes!

No, the other thing I got was A WOOL COAT!!!! it's like that half trench coat thing, but it's lined with silk or the soft fabric inside and it's thick and warm without being puffy like my current jacket. The only thing is it's small around my shoulders, but for a free item, it's pretty dang good! Technically, not free, but it's like I got rid of stuff I would never wearagain, and got new clothes that I would more likely wear so it's sort of "free."

Ok, good night. I have calc and scheduling to do....yea, they don't mix or match in any way, but I have calc and scheduling to do.

PS. you english majors, shut up. I can already hear you laughing at my poor.....something. style? tone? word choice? idk, good night.

hot coco on a cold winter's day

Oh. My. god..
I just had hot chocolate from McDonald's......

for the first time...

And this is the first time I've had hot coco in what, 5 years? Well, it's SOOO good. Got a coupon for a small peppermint holiday hot coco from McD's, and mmmmmmmm

that's all I have to say. I peeked inside before driving off and it was all fancy looking!!! Whether it was cream or not, I couldn't tell. Whether it was some funky 5000000 calorie ingredient, I could care less. It tasted FABULOUS! On freezing cold days like these where I have to walk 15 minutes in 39*F weather, I greatly appreciate even a small cup of hot coco that goes away in 2 seconds. Maybe I miss the flavor or forgot how good it tastes, or maybe McD's is just that good, or maybe because i was so miserable in the weather or maybe because of something else... it was the best thing I'd had in a long time. Just want to add in, this beats the iced coffee from McD's or any mix of coffee in starbucks because hot coco is that much better than the bitterly caffinated Coffee.

Gone

All alone, she sat waiting

A ghost looking for something,

Something that wasn’t there. Something

In the tiny house next to the willow tree.

 

She couldn’t remember,

No, she wouldn’t remember

The life she had

In the tiny house next to the willow tree.

 

All those years, the laughter, the joy

The music she played, the happiness she created

The peace.

She couldn’t remember that.

The birds flying high above,

The squirrels chasing each other,

The bees harvesting sweeter and sweeter honey.

The cat purring over her ball of yarn,

The mice scurrying along in the fields,

The butterflies floating about outside.

All those years, the laughter and joy.



There was a rocking chair,

One that she probably sat in while chatting heartily with a friend.

There was a tire swing,

One the children once spent hours in while yelling whose turn it was

There was the ivy, that crept up the rosy brick water well

There was the sun-faded yellow wall, with faint traces of a once brilliant floral pattern.

There was the orange wall, with its once blinding white polka dots now dull with age

There was the blue wall, with the peeling green strip that once added a touch of life to the room.

There was the cherry red wall, with its shiny fresh paint now a bland shade of pale pink.

 

No, she wouldn’t remember that life, couldn’t she.

That life was beyond her now.

Time had done what it was best a doing –

Eating away the old until it’s just

Gone.

Really? WOW!!

The seven things you never knew about me

All the boys and the girls say HEYY!

They put their hand in the air and prayyyy

Anyway, I think I’m done here.

I have no idea where

What shoe did you give that bear?

Ok, I’ll be over there,

But the sky isn’t very fair

Please let me go if the world begins to tear

Oh look at that hare?

What’s hap’ nen in the lair?

Don’t you dare

Why don’t you care?

Alrighty now, there goes the mare

Hope you’re happy with your fare.

That’s really quite rare

To see that pair?

Just be on your toes and aware

They’ll cut you like a pear

Cools! I cut my – HAIR!

But what about that fair?

I wanted to that skirt to wear

However sophisticated, it’s still queer

If oceans could fall
Let hollow leaves weep.
what would become of our beloved hollow tree?
If He could wallow,
What's to say 'e's ok?
The trees have hung themselves and the birds have sung away the tunes
Sorrow sorrow sorrow
They weep like the darkness in the void of space
they soar above the rain and skies on Mars.
Pitter-patter pitter-patter
Am i the secret? With all its heart?
oh my shallow breath befalls the great one.
Good bye my sweet, and sweet dreams to teet.
Neen had been on scourage with curvy boy the likes
Survivors, huh? Oh the tradgedy!

Boom! goes the ship and so do you,
do you wish you were ___ now?
The people taught and the
one man stands
Up
CHARLIE!

And oh!
The sight!

Uh, ist GHASTLY yellow!
what is this?
dressed like a stupid gourd.
this is sickly to even lay eyes...

Lady spinning sould from a single touch of her victims.

she was resentful. She hated all and the tiniest thing could tip her off. Maybe I should start at the beginning.

There was a nice little town. Yellow sidewalks and a tan cement center with tiny little shops lined around it. One shop led into a large underground metro station with grand shops. Grand couldn't even begin to describe it. From the tiny center above, and the little door way, you would've never imagined there was so much space down here. Stairs led atleast two stories down, and on each side of the tunnle there were shops with tall window fronts. Each window had white printed names spread out in fancy old fonts. The only thing about this underground mall was that it only had green fluorescent lights covering every inch of the place, giving it a gloomy tint. Everything was either in a green tint or a black shadow.

As you went through the underground palace, there was a narrow passage with only bricks and wooden fancy doors. This area led out to the metro station itself.There was a little old lady in rags who sat on the doorsteps next to a wooden door halfway in. No one minded her, and tried to avoid her actually. She was a cranky old lady who snapped at anyone who spoke to her.

Somedays you could see her up next to the aquarium. Other days, she'd be seen up in the rafters, tieing something to the iron bars holding the whole place together. No one saw her face, but they alknew they didn't want to. There was something that just felt wrong about her.

Sarah came into the tunnel one day. She was in awe at he grandious architecture down there, and went back everyday to look around. She took pictures here and there. Unfortunately, no one told her about the old lady's aquarium and the rafters, and Sarah was just dying to know everything about the place. her boyfriend always came with her, preferring to watch her enjoy herfels rather than watch the underground life.

One day, she went up to the rafters and asked her boyfriend to watch the door so no one would catch her up there. The old lady saw. She quickly made her way towards him.

"So you.....believe in......and what about?"

They chatted for a bit, the boyfriend growing more and more uncomfortable, but all the while aware that he still needed to watch for Sarah. Then the old lady said, "Are you sure you should be protecting her? There's a reason no one is supposed to go up there. Are you completely justified in watching over her?"

"Umm... what..are you ...talking about?"

"The girl in the rafters. You're watching the door for her. You know, she shouldn't be poking around places she doesn't know about. Especially, MY place."

"Oh, th-that's you're place? Oh, i'll i'll call her down now."

"No, that's not neccessary. You know what this is?" She asked, and she held out the thing her hands had been fiddling with. It was oval shaped, with something purple and blue inside. The thing was wrapped with layers of dirty white fine string, sort of like rough silk. she still had a piec of the string pulled loosely from the bottom of the oval and she was still spinning it. As she turned the thing around, her though he recognized a tiny face under the mass. As  it spun around again, he saw it move. And as he focused on each spin, he knew what he saw and it took the breath right out of him. It was his tiny face ontop of a bulky body gaping for him to run. it's eyes were full of fear and anxiety. He himself, watching the tiny him under the layers of hard silk, couldn't move. He was paraylyzed. The old lady was smiling a crooked smile, with an evil glint in her eye. She then said a few words and suddenly, he was rigid. He fell, squiriming on the floor, not doing much since he couldn't bend a bone in his body.

"You and your girlfriend angered me. Up there? that's where my babies sleep. She distrurbed them. Now you'll be just like my little ones so that you'll know what it feels like when someone disturbs you!" she squeezed the little bundle once. He felt that squeeze take the breath out of him and then it was gone. the invisible binds faded and he could move against. But he was disoriented, breathing hard, and there was still something wrong with him.

"Now I've kept a little piece of you to remember you by. You misbehave and, "she squeezed the bundle firmly. He nodded desperately and she released. As he regained his balance, he watched her disappear up the stairs. Then the wooden door slammed in his face and he snapped out of the spell. Sarah came back all cheery and accomplished.

The old lady continued her ways for a few years and gathered many, who left without memory of the incident. However, like Sarah's boyfriend, they all left behind a little part of them that'll never get out.

One day, a great flood came in. She needed to save the souls she'd collected! "SAVE MY BABIES!!" she cried, but no one helped. She tried again and no one even glanced at her. She got angry. Her anger took over her helpless self. the old lady stormed up to the rafters, cut down the crate of her little bundles and watched them being swept away with the current. Everyone of them silently cried for help but no one minded them in the beginning. Then they noticed how strnage it was that the little bundles were there. They picked up a few and realized they were little people, and as their eyes followed the trail of bundles, they saw the old lady cutting down more and more bundled souls. This caused a real panic.

If you flooded...

If Maryland or the suburbs flooded, people be like
"Uh, excuse me, no way,
I'm done with you."
Drama.
If Texas or the south flooded, people be like
"Why, you git on ov'r here and be a man!
I ain't no slaving 'round fo' you!"
Cranky.
If New York or a huge city flooded, people be like
"Uh uh, I am NOT about to clean this shit up.
Git yo' ass over here 'fore I make you!"
If an island flooded, people be like
"Oh, *weep weep* this is horrible!
Sorry, we'll try again."
If the ocean or a body of water flooded
Well wouldn't that be splendid?
We need alittle more water in this world anyways,
right?

Hmm

Hmm
i can see waves in the rain outside,
the pond in my backyard is flooding,
and there's a river forming in my yard
What a storm this turned out to be!
Sandy coasts torn up
roots of our neighbor's thousand dollar home
tickled by this rain
the breezes are strong
Oh yes indeed they are!
The house is creaking again.
it's been doing that all day.

Now it's night, i can't see it, but i know it's still there
Sandy coasts torn up
The rain beats fervently against my windows.
Plop plop
What's that? Oh,
The ceiling's leaking.

THE CEILING'S LEAKING!
get the buckets, the trashcans, anything you can find
Grab the towels from my room and hurry!

2a.m.
What a night!
But what else is new? Oh yea,
the others.
The ones who actually got hit by disater?
the ones who actually can't repair their lives by themselves?
the ones who literally don't have anything to their name after the hit?
the ones who met Katrina or
the ones who lived in tokyo in 2012

Who cares about this storm, we've been through worse before.
Sandy's just a kid who doesn't know what she's doing.

We are who we are... Disgusting lazy bums

If dogs could reveal their full potential, unrestricted by human gadgets. Who would really be the superior? If women weren’t taught to “civilly” obey men just because. What would men do about all the life they’ve suppressed? If all our cultural colors, inside and out, If we all found out there is a god, but that god wasn’t of any form we’ve made “God” out to be. What would all these religious groups have to say for themselves? Our brain is our only defense in a world full of natural and immediate strength. Our brain is also our one downfall, creating lazier and weaker versions of the natural “Human.”

 Humans, we as a species are disgusting. We are vulgar if not being cute or lazy. We are revolting and destructive, demolishing all to save ourselves. We live in the fear natural selection would deselect us. We tremble and hide in the wake of danger, run from those who need help, and justify our selfish actions with the slogan "Every man for themselves, we must eat or be eaten!" This isn't what we are meant to be. And what about all these religious groups? if a god exsisted, he would be ashamed of what we've molded ourselves into; that is, a destructive need to be better than others and to live on strong opinions rather than for survival and fun.

 

What other species do you see doing what we do? Who else argues over tiny little things like feminism? Race? Religion? Inferior individuals may be inferior within their own species, amongst their own peers and kind, but none are unhappy and only complain about it like humans. They find other means of being happy. We make cartoons, narrate nature films, and create human thoughts and emotions and impose human-like behaviour in other animals, depicting them as a civilized unsatisfactory community much like the filthy human culture.

 

Something. Anything. Please.

I don’t want to just be cute

I may look pretty,

Be nice,

Be girly

And be known to everyone in school

But what does that give me in life?

I can’t physically do anything strenuous for over 30minutes,

I’m not superb in

acting,

singing,

dancing,

or academics

I’m not even socially popular

I just meet people, they know me,

but I can’t do stuff

I can’t do Stuff.

I’m not musically talented

Athletic

Nor am I a smart alec

I’m neither street smart

Nor book smart

So what Am I?

I’m better off just no trying

Then I won’t have to face this

Burden of

d is a p p o I n t me n t

I always let people down

I don’t even have ADHD or dyslexia or asthma to blame

for not concentrating,

for making silly mistakes

for being bad at sports.

I can’t admit this because

I know people will only try to help me

And that’s the worse.

They pity me and then lower their expectations of me

And think of me as les than normal.

Or Only normal.

I don’t want to be normal,

I want to rock

 

We consume our Spoils with an Endless Hunger

We’re all drowning
In our pitiful gifts
Spoils of our parents’ success
What are we
But what our parents make of us?
What society has brought us up to be?
How are we any better than our ancestors,
The ones that came before us?
Yes, those we call fools
Radicals
Or otherwise
Weak scrambling fools.
They’ve struggled and
Earned their right to be fools
What have we done?
We are flattered lathered
With freedom
Government grants
Legal rights
Individualism
Opportunity
Equality
Fairness
But did we ever earn these rights?
Have we sacrificed anything to create those
Abstract possessions?
What right do we have to
Calls these spoils
Our own?
Our own inherent rights.
We take these –
These acts of sympathy
The goodness of others’ hearts
And we tarnish them with abuse selfishness,
 
“We can do anything we want to do”
If and only if we have money to pursue it
Laws and rights to protect us,
And the freedom to make as many
And as plenty of mistakes as we need
Our troubles?
Our sacrifices?
What we gave in return for such a life?
We gave up life.
We gave up the experience
We have the ideas, but we never lived
Through to choose that idea.
We are drowning in our spoils
Life consuming us
With money and “goodness”
But we have no life.
Ha! You think you have a life?
What fucked up life do you have that makes you say you have a life?
So you’re happy, you’re proud, you have love
But why are you happy?
What are you so proud of?
When did you ever have love?
 
The human race is dying
We are folding in ourselves
We fulfill ourselves with lies of
What’s right or wrong
Of bettering society
Of improving technologies
Of creating newer and better things.
 
What ever happened to those times when people lived just to live?
No struggling to pay rent
No backlash over gender, color, or religion
No compromises
Those times when people worked together to get food for their kind
When people played together like baby cubs
When love was simply yes or no
When the only law was “and eye for an eye, a toe for a toe”?

What do they smell like?

A girl
just a girl
nothing more -
  no less
She walks in a room
there's cakes, pies, cookies and sweets
freshly baked goods and home-made jams
flowers around -
  they've picked them from the spring garden

the girl
a girl
she walks in and
sees the beautiful room
hears the lovely chatter
feels the warmth of the crowd
tastes a muffin the bakers gives her

it's so wonderful, she cries out in joy
David brings a bouquet
pink yellow orange white
pretty. simple. fancy.

"I know you're surrounded
by five hundred fragrances drifting about the room, but
I just picked these lilies for you.
You know, since you're Lily.
I hope you don't mind one more scent tickling your
cute little nose."

What do they smell like?
Like lilies.
What do lilies smell like?
Like the sweetest heaven.
What do the heavens smell like?
Like nothing you could ever imagine.

You're right.
I can't imagine how
that would smell like.
She looks down at her hand

I can barely imagine
what this muffin smells like.

Death in Dream

I just had a dream. *GASP!* A DREAM?! So in the dream, I’m in an area with the same layout as my college, but in the dream, this place was a fair at a park in a city. I’m wandering around helping out and a guy who’s my dreamworld-uncle is working at a booth. At the end of the day, he packs up his stand, and calls me over as I pass. Now, it’s that time in his life where everything his says is crackly and sounds strangled, so I didn’t care take notice of his struggling voice. He tells me to tell my grandma a message. (this is weird because in the dream, I wasn’t thinking of my grandma but just a general grandma person. Yea, atleast for this dream, the dream “me” knew these family members, but real “me” knew for a fact these weren’t even people from me life.) So his message was that he would come home later. He’d be back on a certain day but he never physically said the words, and I didn’t notice it was strange for him to just say the date. He told me to write down: 12/22. as he finished saying 22, he stuttered/repeated it a bit. I looked up to see what the heck was wrong. As I turned up, I saw his head drop infront of me(don’t get me wrong, he’s not beheaded, don’t screw up what I’m saying. I mean his body just fell, and his head just happened to fall in front of me.) Funny thing was I didn’t scream or get super scared. I just had a what-just-happened expression. I still had the scissors in my hand (yes, I carved the message into the booth, whatcha gonna do?) and I was just staring at him…I don’t know what happened, but I then found myself hugging him, too shocked to cry, and frantic to do something about the situation. My mind was surprisingly not racing. In fact nothing was going through my mind, no words were coming out my mouth, but I kept gaping. Then I woke up and my real world mind was watching the scene and thinking, “omg, this is the first death I’ve ever encountered and it’s right in front of me.”

It wasn’t real enough though because I felt no emotion beyond a sympathetic facial expression and the knowledge of this happening.

Feel free to interpret the dream, but I can relate a ton of this to stuff that happened today, so it’s probably just my subconscious making stuff out of memories and thoughts and imagination rather than a predicament. I just thought this dream was cool and I should share with you.

People of this world...

“true to your heart” and it’ll always tell you the truth? HA! What if you can’t trust yourself? When you know you’re delusional and can’t trust yourself, what then? You gonna go out and tell someone “rationalize the world for me, pleasee!!!” Well, tell me when you find that person because no one will do that but a mental hospital. Or just suicide. Yea, THIS is why suicide should be legal.

Well, all I’m saying is that there are lots of “what ifs”in the world. People can suggest you make a smart decision, and you can follow. Or, you can be persistent and follow your heart. Either way, it’s your choice. You’re not wrong for thinking others are wrong in telling you “your place” but they aren’t wrong in suggesting you settle with something stable and easy to work with to support yourself.

 

 We’re all raised to think we can do anything we want and that we’re unique and special, but what if it’s all a lie? What if we are just average people who need to get their shit together and get a real job instead of chasing wild fantasies of becoming a world renown reporter or artist or celebrity or author or lawyer or philosopher such as MLK or Socrates. Or what if we all have a place to be, whether we like it or not? Like in Mulan where men are to do things out of honor and women need to do things to support them.

This also enrages me. Why do things out of honor? You hurt yourself or others just for a title? Eventually, more than halve the people you end up hurting won't even deserve it. Like war…. “I’ll fight for my country! I don’t believe in war, but it’s honorable and gives me pride” or some mafia "I must kill this kid because it keeps up my reputation!" is NOT a good reason. You need to believe in what you’re doing. Otherwise, if everyone thought like that, it’d be VERY Easy for someone to control us. For example, someone says “you should kill him because it’s honorable” or “Go be a house wife because it’s honorable to you man…” NO! Oh my, people these days….we have too much pride and honor and bullshit. Forget it. I give up on people. (just kidding tho!)


Speaking of ignorant people, a Christian group recruiter or someone like that came up to me and started talking about "I believe everyone's a sinner and everyone sucks and doesn't deserve heaven. “I don't mind that she loves her god so much, but now that she's interrupted my reading time and started talking about all this religion when I've decidedly cut religion out of my life, it makes her sound desperate. It's like she's saying, "we have 2,000,000 Christians and it's the most followed religion, but we still want more people and we're not forcing religion on you yet we're asking you to join...again and again and again until you join just to get us off your backs but once you join you have to do all this and hold a reputation that shows you're good and forgivable and......." Plus she started with "Do you think about death? Then went to what happens after life. I guess that's a good intro, but it doesn't hook me in if you're talking about religion. If you're talking about the supernatural and ghosts and stuff, sure, I’ll talk with you. (hahah yea, I just said "uh huh...yep..ok... while she rambled on about something I KNOW I don't believe in. "god" hasn't shown me he's a higher power than me by earning his position, so he's still below me in my mind.) But it's after death so I'll live my life, then worry about what to do after my life if I need to. I'm not wasting my life pleasing a god that may or may not exist. And how do we have "spirits?" We're born of chemistry and electrons bonding and like a battery, we just "turn on" without reason. The battery doesn't do anything until you connect it with a tool that can wire its power to use, and babies don't come to life until that one bond connects us all and we're "Alive."

Moving on from religion since it's so touchy for some people, I'll wrap it up here. Enjoy you day!

Religion corrupts us

Over and over again, I've been asking myself the same question: why? Why do we do what we do? And the simplicity of it all makes you want to laugh. The answer (the ONLY answer) I kept coming back to was this: we believe we're alive for a reason, and for there to be a reason, there must be some high power.

God. This is all humans have ever worked for. God. Well, ok, first there was survival and all that, but after we've settled and could sustain ourselves. We wondered why are we here? What's the meaning of life? Well, it's to enjoy all the beauty of the natural Earth, right? Well, where did all this beauty come from? No answer. For all these mysteries we couldn't explain, and some we still can't explain, people have created some "god." Now we call him Jesus but others give him different names according to their beliefs. But who's right?

Where did "god" come from? Where is the proof that He exists among us, above us, or around us? What can we really say about him aside from the little coincidences in life that seem like miracle answers to our prayers? We pray and pray, but what is "Praying?" Praying is the act of bargaining with non-physical beings. Praying to ancestors, to gods, to the Elements, to the spirits of the world. Praying is wishing. And wishing can only get you so far in life. Miracles can happen; mysteries do develop around things we cannot explain. Someday, we may explain it.

I mean, once, we thought Gods made the weather come and go if we were good. Gods are adults' parents. Adults need someone to look up to too, just as kids do. And adults know very well you can't get something from nothing. So they pray-bargain.

Why do we fight? Why do we still have wars in such civilized times? Because someone somewhere believed their god told them so. Because god said to do something, it's the "right thing" to do, no matter how they achieve their goal. Why are we offended by attacks to a religion? Because it's the one thing we rely on. The one we can trust to show us the way. Religion in your heart and soul, and it's really you in a sense. You are the one who heard god, You are the one who wants something done, You are doing something in return for a miracle happening or some gift you mysteriously received. This is not god, but your own subconscious. It's who you trust. And if you can't trust yourself, you can't trust anyone. This is why people get defensive about religion. They need the security.

Even atheists have some security they look to. It may not be a god, or something to worship. But it is something, nonetheless. It maybe you wishing hard as you can to ace a test. It may be you thanking some invisible friend for your mother surviving surgery or cancer. It may even be you trying to find your way out of depression. No matter what, you have something you look to, talk to, confess and argue with, learn from, and so on.

Now what's my point in all this? Why just go attack every single person out there? Atheists and religious persons alike, we all need some constant invisible "friend" to keep us going in life. All I'm saying is, don't bring religion out into an argument or use religion to justify an action. Religion is the root cause of all that has ever gone awry in human history that we could control.

Plus science has taught us that everything happens for a reason. Now that's hard proof that "god" is in our heads and the unexplainable in life is just super science we haven't yet uncovered.

Fake

I'm sorry for what you are about to read. I usually hate when people hate others but I just....ugh, I have to!
 
Koreans. Hate them. They're so fake now! Watch some of their videos? Gangnam style? Yup, just focused on sex, looking fit and thin. Dancing and lip-syncing. I know Americans do it too, but still. Koreans try to make their videos all light colored and neon and make the sexy thing look innocent. And then all these people copying rap from Americans!! It's...ehh for us, but for others? They don't even fully rap it's like stutter a word over and over until it sounds like rap but isn't rap is only cool if you do it like Karmin music. Not even some of the other rap we have in America, but rap is supposed to be fun, freeing, and NOT about sex drugs or other. I guess the choreography for Korean, oh sorry, K-pop music is fun and fresh, but it's all synchronized to look cool. It’s not talent, it's just entertainment. I just hate how people substitute talents with visuals and "entertainment." Breakdance, salsa, other real dance, even freelance or hip hop or pop dance or musical dances that tell stories or portray emotions (do not even TRY to tell me sex-show-off dances evoke emotion). It all works, just don't walk and wave and call it "dancing." So American music videos are ruined by this too. It all flips from scene to scene without fully letting audiences see the costumes, setting, and all that.
 
Let me tell you something else that's SOOO fake. American women. And girls. Tanning until it's not even natural, bleaching you hair even if it doesn't match your complexion and dyeing your hair jet black or something crazy which doesn't even work with your personality or with you face or skin tone. These people who over accessorize, spend tons to maintain a fake image, and got for spa days, manny-patties, and pedicure, and crazy things like that.
 
Smh, our world is running out of ideas, we're over doing ourselves, rushing to do everything when in the end, we don't even have that much to do. No wonder we're all turning to sex and drugs and violence to entertain ourselves now...

btw, ever notice how she wears a different outfit each movie, but they never showwhen she changes, and she only sticks with one outfit per movie. Plus each succeeding movie outfit get more complex. It used to be a dress and a gun. Now?

 

 

Thoughts while watching TV.

If I ever got dumped in the middle of a high way or somewhere I don't know, I wouldn't even hve "stuff in my pockets" to help me understand what happened or how I got there. These people in movies, stories and others, they say it's sad how they find themselves in the middle of nowhere (Nowhere, OK! you oklahomians know what I'm talking about.) with nothing but the few things in their pockets to help figure them out. I usually don't use my pockets. I usually have everything in my backpack. Wallet, phone, papers, schedule, EVERYTHING! Maybe because I'm still a student and an athelete who's too lazy to carry things in my hands and pockets. If I got lost, I bet you I wouldn't have my backpack with me (aka it'll be stolen). But that's not what I'm here for...I'm complaining today.

What if a there's a world where only adults had a "Freddy krueger curse"? Where only adults can be killed and eventually, only kids exsist. Only people under 18...maybe 25 years olds. I mean, it wouldn't end the human race like with the freddy krueger alternative, where all kids are dead. People can still have more kids, they can raise themselves and still learn. maybe won't be as productive, but we'll live. oh wait a second.....this is basically like cavemen times, isn't it? Where people didn't live past their 20s or 30s because they all died of diseases. Never mind then.

Don’t you love to psycho-analyze everyone and everything? Like just think about why someone acts like they do, why they do what they do, why is she wearing this or that? Omg, we’re contradicting ourselves. “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” as if a book were a person, but then we go to say, be yourself, get clothes and toys accessories that make you happy and make you unique! Anad that will reflect your personality! Oh, please don't psycho analyze me because I already know what that report will say. Anyone ever feel that way?

Random

You know how horrible it is transitioning? From high school to college. Well, I know plenty who've moved from school to school to city to city to state to country and beyond! I think I'm spoiled, but whatever. I can't help it. We're all raised with some level or wealth and some level of luxury, and no matter who we are or how we were raised, we always want a little more than what we were raised based on, right? I've never truly "cooked" for myself and now going to college, I need to learn. I've got down bits and pieces. I don't know the finishing step to make fried rice as brown and non-mushy as I'm used to eating. I don't know how to hard boil an egg so that the center is actually hard. I don't know what extra spices and such I need to put in fried veggies or scrambled eggs. I can only half cook. Half cook, you know? I can't real cook. I can half cook and fake cook. fake cook as in microwavables, pre-made meals, and store bought foods. I can fake cook, but not real cook. My father? Yea, he can real cook, but not fake cook. He doesn't know how much to heat a hot pocket before it's ready and perfect without reading the instructions. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Ok, moving on. 

I just came back from my first salsa dancing...lessons. But it was great! Yea, it was awkward dancing with guys you don't know and you can tell the guys thought the same. Guys need to have more confidence, though not soo much that you don’t know when it’s too much. However, since we were all beginners and had nothing to hide or be ashamed of, we had fun. The instructor cracked pretty...blunt jokes that everyone was thinking but wouldn't've admitted. You think "wouldn't've " is a real word? It should be since we say it so often. But

In the end, I have learned to fully real cook simple stuff, and if not, I can always fall back on making dumplings, the fail-safe plan for food. And sandwiches and spaghetti, and I'm boring you so onto my last thing: the picture!

1. I love the rainbow logo the blocky old computers had.

2. I love how the rounded plastic computers look

3. I love how big and clear and simple the new computers are.

4. I love how efficient and space saving the new laptops are.

 

who agrees?

 

Viruses |:/

Oh my you've got something new for me EVERY day, don't you? First time I got a virus, you made my internet slow. I fixed it. Then you made my search engine links lead me to some dead end. I fixed that. Then you made my computer not recognize it had adobe and all these programs that make videos and gadgets run smoothly. I also fixed that. Now? Oh, not even a full year later, you make my computer jittery as if I were pressing the screen adjustment. You know when you press the monitor's "menu adjustments" and you can shift it left right up or down. Yea, now the computer thinks I'm adjusting it 1 unit left, 1 unit right 1 up, 1 down; over and over and OVER again! PLEASSE people, if you have NOTHING better to do, why in the WORLD would you make viruses to ruin other people's time? I haven't done anything to you, I could be just like you. I may actually have important stuff to do now. I may just be a student trying to relax and watch a movie online or write on her blog. But I can't do that if your STUPI LITTLE VIRUS messes up my computer, my monitor and my internet, now can I? You're lucky I'm slacking and just watching a movie, but STILL! I don't get the point of spam. I don't get the point of viruses. We're all one people, and we're all doing the same thing. What good does sending a virus to others do to you? That's all I have on the topic, good day. I'm angry and UGHHHH!

btw, I'm talking about viruses from the site 1channel.ch. I love that they have sooo many free movies and half of them are pretty good quality, but they always have porn spam, online gaming spam, and info-mercial spam. They have soo many pop-ups you never know if it's just annoying or a real virus. Then, they also have a few good movies that I want to see, but they don't have a link for my internet or my country or something. They get my hopes up to the highest skyscraper, making my day, then they drop it down, through the 2397 feet and into a well that carries it even further down into the farthest pool of broken hearts and crushed dreams.

Anyway, that was a bit morbid. I just went online and a friend shared this with me:

 

It's a blue dragon mollusk! Cutest and most wonderfully extraordinary creature EVER!

Gas Incident and Story

Hello!

Who's ever driven on a freeway with..ehh, 70+ mph? *cough cough* I was being legal, but well, when you're driving that fast, you usually don't like when there are THREE trucks with full loads trailing behind them going your speed right behind you. in the left lane, in the right lane, in my lane, and all right behind my miniscule Kia Soul (KIA SOUL!!! WOOOHOOOO!). It was a bright red truck, a black truck, and a... I think white truck. Whatever, that was all.

 

So what happened today? Well well, I went to a random gas station I'd never even known existed before: "extra fuel." Well, there were only two other cars, a red truck in the first row, and a tan car in the second row. I figured, oh, let's take the first row since it's closer. NOPE! Bags over the hoses like at an abandoned gas station. So I go to the one next to the tan car. I only know and ever seen "regular" "medium" and the super gas buttons, so you can imagine my surprise at seeing "unleaded" "...unleaded" and "leaded" gas for buttons. Well, I picked my best guess at the $3.74 button. As I waited I found out who was in the tan car. Apparently it's a 30ish year old with no gas and a wallet at home. He JUST saw me pump my gas, so how can I say I have no money? So I reluctantly told him I'll get some money, maybe like 3 or 4 dollars. Crazy right? I'm a college freshman with a backpack in my empty car coming home from school and here's a guy, 27-30 year old in an untidy dress shirt asking me to buy him gas to go home. Just kind of sketchy...Who believes him? Who would've given him change? Who would've gone to a more well known gas station?

 

And here's a story for all you readers! Enjoy!

 

Kali ran and ran. Her little feet didn’t even feel the pavement beneath it. The tiny rocks and pebbles on the ground. Not even when she was on the warm moist grass did she feel any comfort. She kept running. She turned corners, ran into the tunnels, rose up above grasslands she loved to play in. She ran up and down hills, watching behind her every now and then. She caught glimpses of a man. He was wearing a purple cape and a slick fedora. As she ran, she passed maybe a dozen little shops. Odors and wifts of cakes, pies, and late night drinks. Most shops were dark, with silhouettes of manikins, dresses, and shelves of books or other on display for a long retired audience. The lonely few shops that were open had flickering candlelight or dim antique light bulbs, whose light danced upon shiny little objects.

 

She didn’t stop until she reached the Cliff. It was the one structure she could always count on to be there. Her friends and family may be busy or bail on her, and the animals may not be in the best of moods, but the one place she knew that would always accept her was the Cliff.

 

No Smell?!

What's that? Cupcakes? Oh how I would love some right now...just from the smell I could...

Hello again. Did you want a cupcake after reading that? Sorry. Well, I'm going to broood over how I can't smell, so don't go complaining.

If you sprayed something in front of me, with no color, picture or words to indicate what it was, I probably wouldn't even know it had an odor. I'd think you just sprayed water in front of me and I'd be annoyed.

How is it I came to not smell? Do I remember what smell is? What odors are in a bathroom? Scents in the fresh spring air? Or maybe a splash of perfume from my mother, grandma, or a friend? No. What's it like not being able to smell? Well, let me ask you this: what's it like not being able to see? To hear? Exactly.

People are used to growing up with the sense of smell, they KNOW what sweet is. Stench, fruits, a new book, fields after a rain storm. Me? I'm basing these senses off of what I taste, what I hear others say. If I grew up where people told me socks smell like candy, I would taste the candy to be sweet, the savory juices that tingle on your tongue as you chew. What about after a storm you say? Well, I haven't figured it out, but I'm guessing fresh. I base that off of how I feel after a shower, because there's not other "fresh" that I'd associate with rain. Something smooth, clean, odorless, maybe a touch of lemon or mint. However that's not realistic and it's only portrayed like that in pictures, in body language on TV or in person if people really go all dramatic like that.

I've never even known about fruits until recently. This past summer, I visited china, and my mother was saying she knew I'd bought an orange because she could smell it. I went to check my bag, thinking maybe the orange popped and juice spilled all over my things. Nope. It was perfectly intact. She then explained the pores in fruit emit scents we could smell.

What does my nose do then? Well, if I can't tell if milk is bad, or if there's a gas leak, or if someone farted or if a bathroom's unclean, what's the point of my nose? Well, I don't know, other than to breathe. I do get sensations that feel "cold" or "cool" and then "stuffy" sensations. If you bring vinegar vapor under my nose my nose tingles. I've learned to "fresh" or "sweet" or something good smells "cool." If it's a bathroom, something gross and an utter disgrace to mankind, it's "stuffy," as a bathroom gets clogged or as sweat is in humid weather.

If you can't see hear, smell, or use one of your senses, you know what I'm talking about. You rely on other senses. It's so different than just saying you rely on those senses and actually needing to. I know smell isn't that important a sense to lose, but I can understand what the blind deaf, or others are going through. Comment to share you story! I'd love to hear about others out there like me :)


I wish there were someone who would make a deal with me. What I wouldn't do to smell lotion, flowers, new cars, or rain.....

 

 

Dream

Ever have one of those dreams where they seem sooo real but you know it's a dream but you aren't awake enough to do anything with this knowledge so you live your dream until you actually wake? Well, I had one, and it was exciting and I must share because I don't have the skills or patience to create a movie based off of my dream.

Last night, I dreamt about a guy robbing an under ground store. It’s dim and has lots of stuff, like cakes, snacks, and others all lined up in displays. The guy comes down saying he wants to take some food, but I we hesitate, hoping our stalling will bring someone else down, but nope. I see a chance where I can go up to the guy, give him our stuff, and make a run for it, but they have men outside the door too. They say they need to cut off a hand or they kill us. They chose me and I keep squirming and crying. I know it’s inevitable, but I scream anyway, even before the blade comes near. One of our workers, who’s also my best friend at this job, came from medical school and can fix it up after the fact. As he preps, thoughts race through my mind to try and mentally prep myself. I think of the guy from 127 hours, cutting off his own hand (Yea, I’m only cutting my own hand off to survive! But wait, he had control over his own hand, I don’t! And what if this guy doesn’t know how to cut efficiently? What if the blade’s not sharp?) I could already feel the blade as it tries to separate my hand at my wrist. I could tell the guy was trying to figure out how to cut my hand without torturing me more. I watched as his blade hovered left and right looking for where to start. Suddenly, someone behind me makes a move and I hear a swish and a crack. I don’t even hear the thud as my hand hits the floor I stand on because I was in shock at my hand being missing. I’m aware the person behind me set off the guillotine and chopped my hand. I stare and try to scream but it was sooo much faster than I expected. I still don’t know who set it off, but he stood there, not shaking, not yelling, and not relaxed either. “It was easier. She’s only a kid. Now go,” he said gruffly, like he was controlling his anger and he was annoyed that he had to be put up to it. It’s silent for only a second before the pain finally creeps into my realization and I start to yell in pain. Everyone’s silent and still as they watch. Everyone except my friend, who rushes up to me to bandage up my wound. I don’t writhe like I thought I would. I was now crumpled on the floor, holding my arm and failing miserably to force the pain away.

Just the day before, I was wondering whether It would be easier to be hurt through a drug or poison or through physical pain, and I think I have my answer. Though I have yet to try poisons or drugs, I would hope there’s no greater pain than this. I am extremely sorry for any who has encountered worse pains.

Some of you may say this is a nightmare, not a dream, but i find regular dreams are too normal to be fun and exciting. I LOVE thriller dreams where you're caught in a tough situation where if it were real, you don't want to be in. I also had another dream where there was a fire and it was cornering me and someone else. Then a third guy comes over, leaves the 1st guy trapped behind the flames away from me. He takes a knife and is about to slit my throat but I think it was too much and I had no experience for my mind to re-create a sensation for it, so I woke up and the dream faded. I may tell the story in detail later.

Nighty night!

Harry Potter

Isn’t this amazing?! I have a blog! Ok ok, so I”m mostly blogging about my stories, semi stories I write from dreams, and other stuff like me rants against the world. It may bore you, yes, I know I probably wouldn’t read my own blog later. But hey, it’s worth a try! Oh and hope you enjoy the blog!

So first I’d like to rant about Harry Potter. I know I’m a bit late. All the complants and blah and blah happened years ago when the movies first came out and everyone finished the books. However. I just started reading the harry potter books and hahah yea, I know I’m 18. whatever. When everyone else was reading harry, I was reading “So you want to be a wizard” and that series is just as good as Harry, book wise. anyway, here’s what I think…

-Nearly headless nick didn’t get a party in the movie
-Barty crouch jr in movie is too ecstatic and insane.
-Winky is absent from the movie
-Dumbledore’s eyes never twinkle in the smile
-Voldemort is too anxious and his voice is too raspy to be a “cold calm voice when he’s “playing”
with harry before killing him in goblet of fire movie

I will say however, the HP films had good quality and all. It’s just the directing I didn’t much like. But, a remake of HP with “goblet of fire part one and two” and stuff like that if each books is too long OR… a new wizard movie series with So you want to be a wizard will redeem this. But PLEASEEEE whoever makes this movie, make it accurate and don’t make a cheesy low-budget film.
Yep, basically I’ve just finished the goblet of fire, then watched the movie the day after, and so I had to spew all this out. and if you can film, GET TO WORK!! I, and all the other harry potter fans, NEED to see the remake. and the So you want to be a wizard fans NEEED to see it in a movie
Speaking of books into movies, there are a few other books that are worthy of filming, but I don’t know how to film and I don’t have the patience to create a full out movie.

Oh, and here's a picture I edited. Enjoy!

 

Ok, peace out!